THE DAVAOIST: A 20-something Davaoeño's Guide to Drinking Coffee

By: Markuz Dedal

Have you ever wondered how our lives would be like? How the lives of every person in the world would be like, if that herd of goats in ancient times didn't chew on those innocent looking coffee berries and thus making them the first ones to experience a coffee high. It is actually quite possible that we will have less than what we have right now. The world would have no skyscrapers. The progression of technology would have been slow. The life-changing books that you have read would have been left unfinished by their authors. No computers. No smartphones. No Google. No Facebook. No Tumblr. No awesome Hollywood movies. No life-sucking TV shows. No nothing. If we didn't have coffee the world will be slow and we will live in it like sloths. So, before I continue, let us stop for a moment to thank those who made this world an exciting place to live in. "Thank you ancient goats in Ethiopia."

A lot of young Davaoeños find it quite impossible to go on a day without coffee. This place is now filled with coffee heads and you can even be one of them. You'd probably relate to this. You wake up in the morning, you brush your teeth and then you make yourself a cup of coffee. You need to concentrate on something, you find a quite place to sit down and sip a cup of coffee. You are feeling tired but the workday is far from being over, you take a break and chug down on some coffee. The habit have completely embedded itself in your life. Just a little bit more and you can already call it an addiction. For some cases, it already is an addiction. But, it is an addiction that every hustling young men and women in Davao City can wear like a badge.

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According to a recent poll, Davao is seeing a significant increase in the number of serious coffee guzzlers in its population. :D That data led Starbucks to set up shop here in the city ( another LOL). Well, drinking coffee has no become a ritual of every modern day man and woman in this city and just like any ritual, there is a correct way to do it. Here's a somewhat guide to drinking coffee for 20-somethings in Davao.

1. Never leave home without fueling up.

There are just people who seriously require coffee to jump start their day. If you are like that but due to some unforeseen circumstances you are forced to leave your home without a coffee fix (ex. You ran out of coffee and you are already running late), you should really think twice before you walk out of your door. Grumpiness, unproductivity, and total loss of social skills are just some of the potential negative behaviours that you might display. Without fueling up when you really need to, you make yourself a liability to the economy and a threat to other members of the society. So, stock up and wake up early for you to ensure that you could load your system with enough caffeine before you face the day. If you need to drink 3 cups of coffee, go drink 3 cups of coffee. Do whatever that is you need to do to make you feel like a billion pesos.

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2. It doesn't matter what kind of coffee it is. Just drink it.

As long as it's coffee with caffeine in it, drink it. It's good for you. Decaf are only for posers. Being a poser and drinking decaf are both not good for you. It doesn't matter if it's instant coffee from a jar in your kitchen, a 3-in-1 mix in a plastic pack, a bland-with-too-much-sugar coffee like concoction from a vendo machine, the pricey artisanal ones in cups with your name on them, or even that heavy fresh brew out of your own coffee maker. As long as it tastes and smells like coffee and you make sure that there is caffeine in it, just drink it. Man, it's good for you.

3. Of course you can take photos of your coffee. Be proud to be a coffee head.

Never think twice in taking a photo of the cup of coffee that you are enjoying. Just snap a photo of it and share it to the rest of the world through Facebook and Instagram with a caption that probably goes like "Ahhh! You never fail to make my day." or even " Thank you goats in ancient Ethiopia." Let everybody in the planet know that you love coffee. Apparently, coffee heads find a good photo of a cup of coffee being consumed as arousing as exposed cleavages or sweaty abdominal muscles. Yes, #coffeeselfies are sexy.

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4. Black with almost no sugar. If you can't enjoy it, switch to cow's milk.

Pure black coffee with just a fairy's sprinkle of sugar is the real shit. The genuine experience. The tradition that can never be improved or modified. If you can't enjoy this bitter but tasty concoction made by the gods then you are not a legit coffee lover. You actually need to love something in it's purest form before you can really call it love.

5. Be a boy scout. Carry coffee with you at all times.

Coffee can get you going but only for a certain period of time. You can turn from a Jhonny-always-on-the-go to a Jhonny-feeling-oh-so-low in just a few hours after your previous cup. If you want to avoid hitting a slump throughout the day, it would be best for you to carry some reserves. Also invest on a reliable thermos coffee canteen or something and some extra packs of instant coffee in your bag. Doing this can ensure that you have a steady supply of caffeine and at the same time you can remain being that (your name here)-always-on-the-go that everybody likes.

6. Buy a coffee maker when you can already afford one.

Nothing can beat the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning. The aroma alone can make you thank God that you are alive. It's quite true. When your coffee maker has brewed your preferred strain of coffee beans and is slowly filling a pot with your caffeine fix in the morning then, the aroma starts comes out; there's no denying that it is the best feeling. If you start your day like this every morning, no one (and I mean no one) will ever dare stop a go-getter like you.

(aside from making coffee with it, you can also do this)

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7 . Learn the art of making cold coffee.

There are just days in this city when the sun seems to be on the mood to punish all of us. The days when going out feels like walking into hell and staying indoors feels like living inside an oven. These are the times when a steaming cup of coffee just doesn't turn you on and this is also the reason why you need to learn the art of making cold coffee. Well, you can't really call it as an art because it is so simple to do. Here's how. Dissolve some coffee in a glass half-filled with hot water, add in some sugar, cream, or even chocolate powder to taste, load the glass up with ice cubes, get turned on again, drink it up like you have just survived a week in the Sahara Desert. You should really try this. It will not just make you feel good, but it can also save the world from your constant ranting on Facebook about how hot the weather is.

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8 . Share your coffee.

The goat who ate the first coffee berry probably went like "Heeeey guuuys! I just ate this berry and geeeez my energy went through the roof. Let's all go ahead and eat some and play all day then stay up all night just talking about how much fun we had! I'm in the mood right now! Meeeeeh!" You can be like that goat too.

If someone in your office asks if you have an extra pack of Kopiko 3-in-1 and you do, go give it to that person. If you just discovered a great place that serves great coffee, tell all of your friends about it. If you find a person who desperately needs coffee, go save that person! Be a nice coffee head. Be that awesome goat.